[ ] ii wanna be the exception :) [:D] New wallet from COACH :)
[:D] Visit to yishun dam! [ ] Night picnic at henderson wave! [ ] Cumulative GPA: 3.5 [:D] DSLite [:D] Tote bag from m)phosis [:D] Nike windbreaker/Adidas jacket [ ] Tote bag from Gucci
[ ] LV speedy :D [:D] LongChamp Bag [:D] Coach Wristlet [:D] Grey pair of Haivanas from NUM [:D] Pass my BTT (16.04.09) [:D] Overseas Trip w/ friends [:D] Pass my FTT (21.05.09)
[:D] Green Apple Vodka
[:D] LG Crystal to replace F480 :D [ ] Aerocrombie & Fitch Jacket [:D] Sony T90 [pink] :D [:D] Davidoff Perfume :D [:D] Ipod Touch [:D] Xperia X2 to replace Crystal
[ ] Opps, NEW WALLET!
just when ii thought life proceeding onto a smoother track it screw up, so let's end it
*restructured*
ii thought life was going onto a slower pace, less chaotic apparently, ii'm wrong, so wrong
ii thought we could talk properly, nicely apparently, ii'm wrong, so wrong
this is my life ii've no obligations to report to anyone, AT ALL. And ii fucking hate to quarrel, esp during EXAMS!
Just as ii thought it'll be different this time, ii'm wrong, so fucking wrong.
"your private matter, i wont ask much, ii wont go look into it either. Because after all, ii think being able to talk to you nicely w/o quarrel, it's the best thing ii could ever get. .. .." - 22nd nov, 6.21pm
this is the message ii received, and naively believed. And ii thought finally, life wont be that wrong for me. but ii'm wrong, so wrong.
if this is the way, & quarrel gotta exist ii give up, the entire "relationship" ii hate quarrels ii rather be unhappy each & everyday than to lead a life of arguements
ii'm not piss, just hurt. you never know how it hurts to just hang up liddat esp when ii thought things are going pretty fine.
ii wont allow myself to be soft-hearted again. afterall, should this continue, both end up getting hurt, still.
enough is enough.
ii'm in absolutely zero mood to study already. fuck. statistics - 1.5 more chapters to go. :D accounts - 2 more chapters to go :D
actions speaks louder than words. ii hope this time round, dere's actions..
rant @ Saturday, November 29, 2008 11:27 PM
mug mug & mug.
another six days to go :)
productive!
ii've finally completed mugging MOB today!
it isnt a lot for a day's of work, but still..
ii'm satisfied!
had lunch at xinwang today w/ shuan
before ii head to TCC to mug for 5hours :)
den head to stella's place for mahjong session!
ii was pretty productive today
before getting damn tired at 6plus.
AND 2hours of mahjong win me 65bucks :)
yesterday mahjong ii won 100bucks!
TADAH!
offsetting the amount ii spend today:
65+100-(31+21+5+23)= 85bucks!
now ii dont feel so broke.
for maybe a day ot two? :)
anyway, lately, ii'm obviously happier!
though we arent together, being like this still feel AWESOME!
georgiana is a happier girl now.
*smiles*
you've light up my life. :)
rant @ Thursday, November 27, 2008 4:23 PM
when dere's still 120minutes to spare
and you dunno how, you're just as pathetic as ii'm
right, ii was just with linda darling, vonny, sarahbaby & wayne ten minutes ago. And 5minutes ago, ii'm munching a donut from FC6. And now, ii feel damn pathetic, ALONE. yucks!
riite, been super duper busy this few days. projects, project, & projects! 1. IDEAS project 2. TWT (The World Today) project 3. ITAB 2 project
monday, we took our CYA group photo FINALLY (with me) in the picture :) tuesday, sarahbaby, linda darling & ii out to mug & play!
class ended at noon. sarahbaby, linda darling & ii head down serangoon gardens to mug, eat & chill :)
first, it's 5hrs mugging at cafe cartel ii ordered chocolate latte & a choco fudge cake :)
next, it's dinner at serangoon gardens :) the 5 of us ordered a 9 course meal ii think. ii'm a bit too lazy to upload the pictures :( haha!
den it's chilling out at liquid kitchen. ii ordered caprioka (mixture of vodka, lime, raw sugar etc etc) And drank a bit erdinger, a bit of corona, a bit of waterfall, a bit of lychee martini :)
it's an awesome niite with the girls. :) as quoted from sarah's blog: we're all happy girls :)
wednesday, georgiana is happy. :)
(though there's a damn long meeting)
AND NOW HERE I AM! waiting for six o'clock to come for TWT meeting.
some random photos taken in class on monday :)
HIGHLIGHT OF THE DAY: THE THREE CHIO GHOSTS :)
P.S: ii've finished the chocolate donut, 4 nuggets & a chicken thingy now. :)
rant @ Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:54 PM
things are going fine, real fine
but why ii'm surrounded by a tinge of melancholy?
on the 22nd nov, ii'm a happy girl, though :)
friday
nothing much. left class early for CYA duty.
ii've never liked friday. class end at 5.
And ii've never like friday seniors too.
ii've heard that it's horrible.
And it's ABSOLUTELY true!
friday, ii got caught for a few things:
1. my nails shouldnt have nail polish
(okies, ii accept) :)
2. my hairband cannot be grey in colour
(HALO! you all said DARK colours!)
3. my pants looks like skinny jeans.
(er. ii wear for TEN WEEKS & no one said that!)
okies. nvm. it's a bad day.
had a big big argument with shaun
And finally, ii tell him, ii need some time to myself.
luckily, yingqian's dad fetch me back. And ii finally think someone is cute from CYA. :) *smiles*
saturday started my day with a very beautiful morning :)
very pretty morning indeed.
he've made my day, the entire day. dat simple.
attended a dinner for the disbled
(ops, wrong, ii'm the volunteer, not guest)
had lunch at aijisen, and desert at gelare :)
after which head off to meet owen brother at woodlands
den den, we make our way to woodgrove secondary
at the bus interchange, it's literally filled with SP students
all waiting for the SAME bus, to the SAME place!
many many familiar faces, and ii stick with:
kimberly, sheryl & jacelyn (during the trip)
split into our own groups later and my new clique:
shazleen, shauna, yanjing :)
it was pretty stupid.
for majority of the time, we were doing nothing
till 5plus, when the elderly start coming in.
our job scope include:
1. helping the elderly to their seats
2. communicating with them
3. helping them to the washroom
4. feeding them eat
5. serving them w/ food & drinks
in short, SHIT work.
AND STUPID ME, ii wore heels!
but it isnt that bad actually, maybe cux' my day started well :)
head home with shazleen, darrell, ziming, guohui, ben brother etc
ben brother & guohui cab me home when we reach tampines interchange
haha! thank you.
den ii scold ben brother!
always anyhow spend money.
ii wanted to pay my share for the cab, den he dont wanna take!!
look upon him like my younger brother. :)
but apparently, ii think he look upon me like meimei liddat.
he's 17, and ii'm 18.
WRONG!
many many stupid pictures taken today!
TADAH!
sunday ii spend my morning sleeping :) And meet owen brother at plaza sing TCC at 1plus to mug
And ii did IDEAS powerpoint for monday's presentation
wasnt very productive initially
cux' ii didnt exactly know how to structure the presentation
den den, when owen become unproductive
ii become productive!
And owen brother & ii start taking stupid pictures :)
ii've ABSOLUTELY no intention of kissing him
AND WE'RE NOT A COUPLE! :)
Also, meet wanting & pass her my graphic calculator! (in exchange for 70bucks!)
oh ya, TCC chocolate grottine cake is damn nice!
okies, ii think so lahs. maybe cux's it's chocolatey! :)
*smiles*
owen left at 6plus. den the TCC peeps were quite friendly
came to accompany me talk.
20% off total bill (staff discount by daniel!) :)
den he came down to have dinner w/ me. :) :)
by then, ii was already having a damn terrible gastric
hadnt eat the whole day at TCC.
didnt exactly have the ability to take a bus home.
cab home from plaza sing
before he go off to meet her.
feel so guilty.
ii called him to inform him ii'm home
forgetting the fact that he's with her.
okies, that explain the tinge of melancholy.
felt uneasy 'bout it. :(
my gastrics still hurting.
ARGH!
And dad just tell me ii'm going school myself tomorrow.
BAD BAD!!
getting back to IDEAS powerpoint.
goodniites for now! :)
P.S: ii'm still happy :)
rant @ Thursday, November 20, 2008 9:11 PM
you left me with this conversation hurting me..
* 2 More Prac And I'm Done. = ) Honda Civic B18 On It's Way 16th Dec!! Happenin! * said: actually i wanted to like talk to u
* 2 More Prac And I'm Done. = ) Honda Civic B18 On It's Way 16th Dec!! Happenin! * said: but i saw e display pic
* 2 More Prac And I'm Done. = ) Honda Civic B18 On It's Way 16th Dec!! Happenin! * said: dont know why
* 2 More Prac And I'm Done. = ) Honda Civic B18 On It's Way 16th Dec!! Happenin! * said: it just turn mi off.
* 2 More Prac And I'm Done. = ) Honda Civic B18 On It's Way 16th Dec!! Happenin! * said: bb.
-georgianalee- [ii hope dis lovestory never ends. it'll never be forgotten] said: ii dunno if you're you. dunno wad's wrong with the display pic. if ii turn you off, let it be bax.
-georgianalee- [ii hope dis lovestory never ends. it'll never be forgotten] said: ii've nothing else to say. take care. bb
a simple, damn simple conversation. yet it hurts so much. ii still cant find a logical answer to why are tears flowing down.
ii thought ii am fine. ii'm trying to be the me you want. ii'm trying to be happy. but why did you do this?
if ii turn you off, why initate any conversation? you can talk to her, you have her.
still finding a way out. if anyone comes up to me now and ask "will you elope with me? ii'll bring you to a world just the two of us you wont have to stay here."
ii'll go without any hesitation.
rant @ 7:21 PM
when you know nuts 'bout hypothesis you know you're screwed (just like me)!
my forehead is still hurting badly
no more swelling though :( anyway, ii have been blogging on a super regular basis this week :)
lesson ended at three head down to plaza sing ALONE to get my phone fixed. riite, 7 crystals have fallen off my phone since last sat! ii super cant stand the sight of gaps anywhere in between the blings! And so, today, ii'm determined enough to go down no matter wad!
ii know linda would have accompanied me if she could but chill girl, it's perfectly alright. :)
upon reaching and handing over the phone.. the lady tell me need to wait for 1.5 hours liddat omfg, ii nearly vomitted blood, seriously. 175crystals took 1.5hours, and so does 7 crystals.. like wad the hell is wrong lahs.
no choice lo, want pretty phone jiu must wait ii went around ps, shopping alone. denden, ii saw this lingerie mini fair & ii walk towards it (stupid me) this lady came up to offer her assistance And despite me saying "it's alright", she persisted. so whatever lahs, since she cant understand english ii just let her talk & advertise & promote lahs! but this isnt the most infuriating part.
ii'm super irritated by the fact that she only show me PUSH-UPs & MAXIMIZER can! oh please, do ii look that flat to you?!
being super super angry, ii walk away. but still, get myself a tube. :) And 2 new hairband-grey & blue. :)
ohya ohya, ii ate mcspicy double yesterday for dinner! cravings satisfied! super love the feeling of missing him while eating! ii'm not mad okies! ii felt happy :) have he tried it? :)
ANYWAY, the quality of chicken dropped! but still not too bad bax.
a little disturbed by the fact that ii'm gonna be super busy tomorrow, saturday, sunday & next week IDEAS due on monday, followed by ITAB & TWT due next fri yucks! hate it. following dat, MST commence in week 8! ii got no time to study :(
on a happier note, ii'm looking forward to next tues. :) ii'm still not happy. ii'm very tired. :( omeigar FINALLY send me IDEAS ppt, even though it's screwed..
rant @ Wednesday, November 19, 2008 7:01 PM
sir, coffee.tea.or me? guys: hassle & trouble
(edited)
quite a bit of things happened from 12 mid-niite
till this particular moment. but anyway, before anything & everything.. school was fine today. (slackiest day, of course!) 3 lectures to the end of school. :) after econs lecture, the girls & ii head down to vivo to do a bit of shopping :) ii am hunting for a pair of slippers, preferably white
return to school at about 3 to attend options streaming talk. banking option? financial trading option? anyway, ii'll most probably be going into financial trading with sarahbaby. :) riite, but ii dunno if my interest lies dere, yet. :(:(
head home with yihao brother, eric, ivan, kimberly & sheryl. right, ii think dere's still one more guy. cant remember his name. nevermind 'bout that.
anyway, ii was saying quite a bit of stuff happened. And this set me thinking on a few issues.
first thing: he called me at 1a.m this morning. it's the call ii've been waiting for, & feared for. he requested me to be happy. right, if he wants it this way, ii'll conceal all emotions ii'll reveal none. ii'll only be happy. :) (if this makes you feel better, ii'll.) *smiles*
next, sarahbaby just ended her 5 days old relationship. it came so quickly, ii wasnt at all prepare for it.
but it set me thinking.. 5 days relationship vs 22months relationship all it took was 5 minutes to end it a 5 days relationship.. yet ii took 51 days & 1 major uneventful incident to let it go.. ii took me 1224hours OR 73440 minutes to understand the definition of "break-up" & "letting it go" And up till this moment, ii'm still reluctant to be defeated.
all it took was one word: immature, to end for us, it took the presence of 2 innocent characters so un-believe-able. ii'm speechless.
anyway, sarahbaby looks fine on the surface. yet ii felt that deep down inside her, it must not have felt good. the "pain" always comes only when you're alone
(at least for me)
to sarahbaby: no matter what happens, you still have got us we'll love you always, for whoever you're you're always so dear, so precious to us this friendship doesnt come easy in fact, many unfortunate stuff have happened And it made me cherish you girls more ii love y'all :)
on another hand, ii hope linda darling is doing well too. we all know what's happening. And same goes to linda darling, you still have got us to fall back on. :)
As for me, the pace of how fast things change everyday is scaring me away this is such a scary place, a filthy world to be in ii dont know how things will evolve for me tomorrow..
ixit true that ii'm the luckiest among them,
that ii've got shaun? ixit true that ii'm the happiest? (at least ii'm supposed to be, superficially)
today this ran through my mind: comtemplating between ending it all or clinging on.
too many things. too little time. stressed up.
you gave me too many assuances ii gave you none, at all are you sure you made a right choice to stay with me?
P.S: georgiana is NOT happy today. P.P.S: guys - hassle & trouble.
P.P.P.S: ii'm craving for mc spicy double now.
ii want to remove one patty
and savour it bit by bit, with curry sauce.
it reminds me of him, though. :)
hope he has tried the mc spicy double!
rant @ Tuesday, November 18, 2008 9:20 PM
ii'm lost, you know it..
finding the way out of this dream..
mondaymonday: class ended at three. no airport duty. didnt feel like doing anything. :(
but still, took my own sweet time
head down to Serangoon Gardens had dinner at ChompChomp & chilled at Liquid Kitchen before cabbing home at about eleven..
the amount of food shuan&ii ordered..
at Liquid Kitchen: shaun had erdinger beer (damn sweet!) And ii got cocktail: buzzie buzz :)
tuesdaytuesday: class ended at twelve today. there's this competition in school. some sorta eat as fast & as much as you can type of competition.. (as you can see ^^")
after which, had IDEAS project meeting at jurong point McCafe :) on the way, ii saw this on the train:
being super thrilled by this new thingy ii've nvr seen before ii sorta got quite "high", and ii looked like some mountain turtle lahs! ^^ think they gonna implement it on every mrt train! so DAMN cool!
oh ya oh ya, hot chocolate from McCafe is damn hell nice! :):) current favourite!
den head down to marina square for lunch with the girls @ xinwang hongkong cafe after which, was hesitating whether should pop by coffee club. concluded dat there isn't any point anymore..
our orders. :):)
And so, returned to school for TWT project meeting at four. ended only at 6plus. half the time, ii was playing with shilton's imate phone with natasha :)
head home with shilton & prasatt. :) shilton stays 10blocks away from me. ^^ my god, shilton & prasatt are 2 brilliant guys! felt super intimidated talking to them can!
their intelligence level.. ARGH! (so luckily Shilton is in my TWT project group) :) ii love this group of peeps, super self-motivated all of us struggle to do well. contribute our fair share etc. etc.
conclusion: we're doing nuclear technology, associating terrorism with world war III :) interesting interesting!
right, ii know lately ii've been a bit emo. you can choose not to read. ii contradict. this is so just girls..
ii just yearn a life every normal girl leads. NORMAL.
simple. sweet. carefree. happy.
but it seem so un-achieve-able. :( still hurting badly underneath me. And you just cant seem to understand. dont stress me. stop reminding me to move on. ii know ii've to. BUT ii'm not interested. AT ALL. give me a lil' bit more time.
now, ii rather lead life unhappily. ^^
P.S: trying to stay out as much as ii can. keeping myself as occupied as possible.
AND SO: :)
wednesday: streaming talk from 3 to 5 plus
thursday: ITAB project (tentative)
saturday: NYAA charity dinner with CYA peeps & brothers
sunday: mugging session (ii hope) :)
monday: airport duty
tuesday: mugging & chilling session with my girls. :)
rant @ Monday, November 17, 2008 11:35 PM
ii miss you as badly, still.
no doubt 'bout it..
ii'm freaking tired this evening.
ii blog for ii know it may be the only connection
between him & me. at least ii hope it is.
And ii didnt wanna give the feeling that ii dont longer care.
ii still do.
just back home. shall blog more 'bout it tomorrow.
looking thru' the pictures.
remembering our conversation.
recalled that he told me he didnt regret being with her.
dat's my only consolation,
the only drive to tell me to stop being naive.
still trying.
jiayou!
ii've been dreaming of him for two niites.
heading off to bed.
be it a dream or a niitemare, ii'll take it.
for it's the only time you seemed more realistic
the only time ii can fantasize bout my fairytale..
shit happens.
life's a biitch. dont doubt it.
rant @ Sunday, November 16, 2008 10:34 PM
fairytale: my world of denial
singapore: a city of practicality
(edited)
from today, "you" will be addressed as "him", for those who understand, good for you.
ii dreamt of him last niite. ii woke up with tears in my eyes.
ii cant remember what it's all about
ii only know it involves him
ii dont know why ii woke up with tears in my eyes as well
ii miss him.
switched on my lappie to see zero email from him
zero msn conversation.
even in friendster, he is no longer dere.
today, shuan picked me up to meet my two darlings in town for project.
chilled at TCC & did IDEAS project dere as well.
shaun is our photographer.
sarah is damn shocked to see me.
linda is damn concerned 'bout my wound, and she's scaring me w/ scars!
staffs at TCC were super friendly, and dere was a 20% discount for us. :)
it's a staff discount by one of the waiters dere.
ii bet he's interested in one of my two girlfriends. :)
after which, head to arcade at plaza singapura, before going down to FEP & DFS at orchard.
played my favourite cooking master. ii play for an obvious reason.
ii wanna play, to not forget it, to remember him; to make sure memories never fade.
at FEP, shaun bought 2 bermudas, 1 top & a pair of shoes for himself.
And ii got for myself 2 identical dresses: one black & one purple. :)
As well as a pink NIKE water bottle.
had dinner at WHISK restaurant at wisma, before cabbing home from cineleisure.
shaun wanted to get me a new wallet from GUCCI. ii rejected his offer. :) pass him 650bucks as well. had a minor argument over this issue. he still insist on getting me a wallet. drop the issue with "ii like none of the wallet, we'll drop by another time". ii dont wanna accept anything from him. dont ask why, ii dont know either.
felt damn disturbed throughout today. ii miss him. ii know shaun is aware, for he asked me at least twenty times 'bout what's going thru' my mind. And ii know ii sorta spoilt his day with all my responses. ii seem oblivious to the world, today.
shuan, ii'm sorry ii screamed at you. ii'm sorry ii'm always quiet. ii'm sorry ii'm in my own world.
you told me all you wanted was to get me a proper wallet. you told me you want me to move on, you dont want me to be upset. you told me ii'll be happy. you told me ii need not fear.
but but.. ii dont know how. my mind is preoccupied with him. ii know ii shouldnt be liddat. life w/o him feels so wrong, still. ii'm still getting used to life.
ii hope the him far far away is doing fine. ii hope he is coping well with life. ii hope at times, he still misses me like how ii do. ii hope he is happy (with her)..
P.S: blog entry on him & her removed. P.P.S: on a happier note, ii know GUCCI 's summer collection will have a lot of pink wallet, ranging from classic to leather to everything a girl will ever want. :)
P.P.S: my lower left jaw in hurting super badly. :(
rant @ 12:19 AM
the final shot:
it's time say goodbye..
friday, 14th sept. gems lesson was cool, relaxing & quite slack. no more sarah pallin, no more obama. no more hitler. only cold war w/ stalin, & kennedy.. there were zero chair that day, so we all sat on the floor, and ii felt that we were all closer to one another in a way. got into our own groups for project. this time round, not w/ friends, but rather strangers. camwhore a bit during break, w/ mr. junkiat as our photographer. a pity ii'm in a different group w/ him. fun guy to be around. :)
-natasha & me--junkiat & me-
-the five of us-
ii cant rmb all the names, but it includes jolyn, natasha, me & peizhi :)
shuan came to pick me after school to stella's place for mahjong. And TADAH, we quarrelled. shall not talk 'bout it.
today. super long day. longer than usual. damn long. everything finally ended. it's time, really time ii let go. there isnt point holding on. ii should be angry, yet ii'm not at all. ii put ZERO blame on you. ii'll take everything, all the blame. my fault. yes, it is. ii'll never blame you, for all that you have done. whatever that happen, ii wont bring it up here. ii'll put it behind. it's a trauma. ii'm fine, ii guess ii'll be. leading my life from now on.
go home & den dere is no one at home. didnt bring keys out. so ii went out again. dad's screaming at me, for no whatever reason (at least ii dunno wad). now ii'm here blogging. thank you sarah, for everything. listen to me whine & all. thank you shaun for everything, for lettin me cry & addressing my wound. thank you y'all. when dere's y'all around, everything still feel right, in place.
now that ii'm alone, ii'm lost again. been hiding in my room. tears are swelling up again. ii dont wanna think so much, please, let me be..
-junkiat & me-
-the five of us-